Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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