They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
