Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
