I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize