im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize