I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize