I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
