True but thats because hes a fetus.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
