dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
