I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
