I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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