What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So squirting runs in the family.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
