There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
