You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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