I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
