I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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