Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
