I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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