he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
