im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
