I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
