The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
