Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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