So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
