last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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