I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
