I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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