Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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