They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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