Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
