I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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