so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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