Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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