we're chasing vodka with high fives
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize