I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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