I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
