Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize