His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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