So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize