Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
