His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I need to align my fucking chakras
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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