Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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