you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
