remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
