There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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