Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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