One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
two words: eviction party
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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