I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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