dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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