id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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