The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
