the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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