I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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