haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
