Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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