who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I cut my penus on the lid.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize