I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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