I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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