batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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