The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
